I want to address something today, that affects each one of us, on an almost daily basis.

Mustaches. They can project power, or something else, that I am having trouble quantifying. I don't know what to call it.

Example of a Power Mustache: State Troopers and Police, Civil War Generals

Example of (other?) Mustaches: all blond mustaches, thin, sparse mustaches

To further expound on this topic I have some photo-examples;


Power mustaches: 5-8

"Weak?" mustaches: 1-4

I personally believe that in order to successfully wear a "stache" you must choose a power "stache". All others are inferior and should be abolished. Frankly, I think they're gross.